The Hall of Shame

I have, since the day I woke up & realized it, always loved music. And to be especially specific -I love Family music, music produced by Family members, however you wanna call it. I mean, why would I run this blog if I didn't, right?
However, I have also through the years noticed with slightly steaming ears, that many of my fellow brothers & sisters don't! Since the first Family recording, someone has always made a scene about it -from the "Bible Album" all the way til whatever the latest nerve twanger is. Someone has always complained about it. The usual is that its too heavy. Which in English translates as "to Radical for my poor little old bottle". And personally, I am sick of it!
I'm sick of ppl who never produced a song in their life trying to tell those who have how they can do it better!
I'm sick of no-doughs trying to inform producers of what is cool!
I'm sick of ppl griping about how Family music doesn't appeal to their taste or how their not producing the kind of music they personally like!
I'm sick of how they turn it around in the musicians face & tell them that they are copying such-&-such a system band.
I'm sick of ppl who listen to Christian system music all the time telling Family musicians that their music is brackish.
I'm sick of ppl who don't like a certain style trying to ban it or make the musicians who made it look bad or compromised or undedicated or whatever the excuse may be!
I'm also sick of the fact that I can't write eloquently or intellectually -but not so much cause I trust the Lord.
And sometimes I get so pissed off about it that I almost descend to their level and start using the kind of language that would lose you your case in a court of law. I want to point out something to you murmurers, complainers, gripers, & old bottles. Every musician the Family has every had will be remembered, both on earth & for eternity in Heaven. But you who profess to be wise (yet show yourselves as fools) who do nothing but backstab them -- well sorry sweethearts, if you're remembered at all it will be merely because of your dandy bad example. Other than that who the hell will ever hear of you? This subject has been discussed & argued since day 1 & every new album is put under the same set of muck. It is disgusting & abhorrent to hear such words being spoken by our brothers & sisters to our brothers & sisters. For God's sake if you're a disciple, act like one! If you're not, well, this probably isn't the blog you wanna hang out at. Here are some fine quotes that will probably make you laugh, till it settles in your brain that you're doing the same thing, and ppl will laugh at you in a few years time. (Note: some of these comments were retracted or were put at the top of a testimony to show how they changed. But unfortunately, they still said it) Behold, the music critics Hall of Shame:

About a year ago I got the chance to hear some of the new Endtime Scripture songs (in their still unfinalised form). When I first heard them, I was really shocked! They broke my bottle! From what I could recall, the last really beefed-up music that the Family had produced was music on the Scripture Song Tape "Break Out". But compared to the new Endtime Scripture songs, "Break Out" is very mild. At first the Endtime Scripture songs sounded very much like hard rock to me, & so I wondered if it was okay to even like these songs! It was the wildest Family music that I had ever heard! (Unknown –Hope of the Future)

Hip Hop Dancing is like demon possessed whirling dervishes. (Unknown –Hope of the Future)

Some of us who have listened to quite a bit of System music (including a relatively new disciple here, coming from a punk background), found it disturbing that some teen songs (on the FTTs) were almost identical in melody, music, and arrangements to System songs we considered of the Devil. I know that the Lord said that the words are the most important thing, but He also promised to give new hit melodies and arrangements. Maybe others feel that a bit, too. (Nina –The Grapevine)

When I first got copies of FTTs 5 and 6, I was really surprised with the style of some of the songs. My first reaction was, "What did they do to these songs?!" I think, though, if a majority of people don't like a certain style of music, maybe it would be a good idea to avoid this particular style. I am talking now about rap.The music from Hot Or Cold is very good, even the mild rap that was produced. But it's my personal feeling that the rap music on "Tap Into the Power" is too aggressive. If we could vote on kinds of music, I would vote against such kind of music. The song "Revolutionary Children of God" is difficult to understand. For me, the new version of this song is ruined. It was such a good song. I wish on any new remakes of old songs, our musicians would not put in such aggressive rap. (Steven –The Grapevine)

FTTs??? Excuse me when I say I'd rather listen to the sound of a constipated baby crying. The music that gets out to us in the form of "FTTs" is so wack, the style is so dated, not to mention less-than-original sounding, that it just plain doesn't appeal to you. I realize that a lot of work and effort goes into these "FTTs," but I honestly don't know why they bother. I can't remember the last time I listened to an FTT. Come to think of it, none of my friends can either. When I say that none of the teens I have met ever listen to FTTs personally and enjoy them, I truly mean NONE! I don't mean to say that I can do any better myself. Not at all, there are many talented people working on the Family tapes. I'm just saying that the style of the "Family Teen Tapes" is something that I've seen only my parents and young children enjoy. The Family makes excellent music for kids and adults alike. But we just haven't produced anything that young people want so far. It's just that "Family music" in its present state doesn't appeal to young people. I think that that statement is almost literally a proven and well-known fact! (Daniel –The Professionals)

Hmmmmmm. Sounds like stuff I've heard recently on a blog post by Amaranthine -minus the foul language of course. These are a bare scratch on the surface of the loads upon loads of such like comments all over the web. What really disgusts me is when ppl say a Family members singing sounds demonic (like the poor Bounty of Dragons guy). HELLO!?!?!?!? Sorry, but a Family member can scream good metal all they want and it still won't sound like a demon. Geez, which of you who said that have actually heard a demon scream?? I'll wager that it will sound like nothing that can even be created by humans. What bugs me is that a lot of the ppl who complain the most are the ones who listen to Family music the least. Sorry guys, but the Word says that its the lyrics that count not music or presentation. What's that? You can't understand the words when screamed? What the...? 50% of the Family (those who aren't living in Mexico or SA) can't understand even one word of those Spanish songs you are so keen on promoting. We should all throw those out right? Dear Lord, some ppl can have such double standards.
Look, why don't you go watch Bambi again, and listen carefully (try turning up the sound so you can understand it, or get a DVD with subtitles) to what Thumper says: "If you can't say something nice, don't say NOTHING at all!!!!!!!!! I don't care if you don't like metal or any other genre, you don't need to backstab the musicians who produce it. I hate country, I detest 90% of the Spanish music on the MO site, I hate jazz, I dislike slide guitar, I dislike most piano/orchestra instrumentals. Heck, I EVEN DISLIKE SEVERAL OF THE ARTISTS (of specific songs by them) THAT ARE PROMOTED ON THIS BLOG!!!! But I will NEVER post a line that says "This band sucks & should be banned." Never!
Grow up ppl! Learn to appreciate all the Lord has poured down on us! What if Mama decided one day that they were going to ban all system music (I would cheer for that!!) & all music not pubbed on the Mo site? What would you do? Cry? Throw a fit? Leave the Family? Send emails around dissing Mama? Or maybe you would then appreciate the work & sacrifice that those musicians who didn't make it to the MO site approvals have done over that last 8 years or so.

To close, I will post a very humorous story written in the Free Zine in 1996. Sadly, 12 years later, many have still not gotten the point of the tale.

A Musician, a Teen, & a Recording.
His palms were damp with perspiration. A bead of sweat rolled down his forehead and settled in his right eyebrow. The clock struck midnight as he looked across nervously at his roommate, to make sure he was sound asleep. After a minute and a half, he walked to the bathroom, more out of a need to make doubly sure his roommate was asleep than to relieve himself.
Upon his return to the room, noting the mild grin on his roommate's sleeping face, he felt sure it was now "safe" to proceed. He tip-toed across the room to a chest of drawers, opened the top one, put his arm in and pulled out the device. With the device and a few of its accessories in hand, he crept back to his bed. After making a few simple connections and replenishing its power supply, he proceeded to activate the device and operate it in his bed.
No, the paragraphs above are not part of a Cold-War spy thriller; rather they're a description of Bartothemule's pre-FTT era midnight escapades of listening to bootlegged music.
There are quite a few other tales from this era, including one of the time when Bart resorted to faking a sleep-walk in order to quell the suspicion of his roommate who stirred during one of the said operations.
In keeping with the Scriptural axiom that, "There is nothing covered that shall not be revealed; neither hid, that shall not be known," eventually Bart's late night extravaganzas came to light, when one morning his roommate had to get up early and accidentally stumbled over a copy of an album by "The Loaded Blanks" called Going Nowhere and Getting There Fast.
When Bart's shepherd, himself a studio musician, asked Bart -- somewhat sheepishly -- why he felt it necessary to listen to albums like Going Nowhere and Getting There Fast, Bart replied in a less than meek tone, "Well, I don't really care about the message of this tape, I just like the style of music. When the Family starts making music in this style, then I'll stop listening to this music."
Bart's shepherd, who we'll call Azmaveth, took Bart's point surprisingly well. He thought to himself, "Bart's attitude may not be the greatest, but perhaps he has a point. Maybe we can produce some music in the style that he's interested in." So when the FTTs came into being, Azmaveth recorded a few songs in the style which Bart had expressed an interest in.
"Hey Bart, what do you think about these songs we did in the style you were interested in?" Azmaveth asked cheerily. "It's okay, but if you ask me they were just a COPY of the style of such-and-such a group." (Did we miss something here?)
Azmaveth walked away somewhat disappointed, but he thought to himself, "Oh well, you can't win'm all. I'll just do the best I can." And he proceeded to read a bunch of mail which had just come in for him. Here are some portions of the letters he got that day, "RAP, man, we want RAP." "It would be quite nice if we had some more Family RAP music available." "I like RAP." "This is a petition from the teens in Mozambique, it would be nice to have more RAP." "RAP iz mye faverit stile oph musyk. Aye lyke RAP."
After reading those letters and praying, Azmaveth felt what he should do next was pretty obvious -- mail a spelling book to the fellow who wrote the last letter. After doing that, he began working on recording some RAP songs.
While many people were very happy with the songs, others commented that the RAP "wasn't heavy enough," while yet others commented that it "was too heavy," and that "the rap portion ruined what was otherwise a good song."
Heh, what next? Well, some people talked to Azmaveth and said, "You know, we just really appreciate the more intricate styles of music. You know, that kind of sound like you see some bands playing in some of those movies, where they have a lot of instruments, trumpets, saxophones, trombones and all those types of things." From their clear description Azmaveth realized -- a couple weeks later -- that they must've been talking about "big band" music.
"This must be it!" Azmaveth thought to himself. When his co-workers asked him why he was going around dressed like Glen Miller, he explained that it helped him to "get in the spirit" of the music he was producing. Yep, the sound of "the big band" was bound to produce the big bang which would create a new universe of musical expression! Right? Umm, well, heh, in some places, yes, but in others, only partially.
"Arghh, listen to this," said one lady, "How terrible, this musician is making the children listen to music from the '30s."
Azmaveth felt bad and wanted to do something more '90s, so he put all of his energies into producing some songs in techno music style.
Once the techno music came out, he received several letters from some young people who had either been in the System before or had been delivered from a problem of listening to System music, who commented, "I feel that you're just copying a System style which just reminds me of the System. It would be nice if you could try to do something more original." "I really enjoyed some of your slow love songs, but this techno stuff really bothers me."
Okay, so slow love songs were now the ticket. In a sincere effort to "please all the people," Azmaveth produced a very long, romantic-style love song filled with all kinds of smooth instrumentation and vocal acrobatics.
He got many good reviews on this song, but then of course there were the dissenters.
"It's so mushy-gushy," said one person. "It's too sentimental, it makes me think about this girlfriend I once had in Barbados. I prefer hard-driving, radical rock to thinking about old girlfriends in Barbados," said another.
Finally, in a last desperate attempt, Azmaveth labored and strained at making a heavy, hard-driving rock production. When he tried recording the vocals, he realized that his voice was too smooth and not sand-graveled enough to produce the type of sound they were looking for. So he started gargling sand in the morning and evening in order to roughen up his voice a little so it really "fit the part." Finally, after two weeks of sand gargling, his voice was ready and he recorded the song.
But even after doing that it didn't satisfy everyone's likes in music and there was still criticism. So, at last, dear Azmaveth decided to leave his studio recording and go to work witnessing on the front line with his guitar in hand, singing for the sheep who lapped up the message with eager hearts.
This story has a bittersweet ending -- sweet in that he became a witnesser winning souls and reaching people with the message; bitter because we lost an inspired musician whose recordings inspired thousands of other Family members and even the sheep on the outside.
This story is fictional … let's keep it that way.
(Zine 003)